10:58:00 PM

I'm so tired...
finally the proposal have been submitted...
the heavy burden can then be put down...
luckily everything is being carried out smoothly...
there wasn't much errors to correct...

was kind of angry with the Ex-cos...
thus upon seeing chong en...
we head for lunch...
and thus i walked away from the meeting...
then i sat at the usual table i usually sit (if i got go there)...
memories flooded my whole brain...
how i hope to return to those times...
but time continue to pass...
it won't slow down for you...
i don't know why...
but in the end...
i still helped...
LOLs...
i have no idea...
why have i done this for...

planning stuffs is definitely fun...
but it is also very stressful...
as you have to take into consideration on all aspects of the matters...

and to all who have gotten your results...
please calm down...
relax if you didn't hit the expected marks...
although it is ok to feel sad...
but you just have to move on...
thus you will be able to gain great results...

and to those who will be having their "O" levels...
i wish your the best...
focus on the paper...

Fly away

10:46:00 PM

14th October 2008...
Tuesday...

the 1st day after exams that we have to return to school...
had 3 lessons only...
well i shouldn't talk about it...
felt so tired after such a long break from school...
as exams are over...
I'm going to slack...
but i can't helped but feel stress...
because i still have 'O' levels Maths...
and whats worst is tomorrow is the deadline for the submission for camp proposal...

Argh...!
so less time and yet so many things undone...
well i shan't complain anymore...
time is still running...
thus i will carry on to complete this tasks...
i just hope that all will go well and it will be a total success...
all the best...

Fly away

11:25:00 PM

i just found out that today i don't have to go school...
yeah...
but in the end, i still went...
i have already said that i would focus on the camp...
i will put in my best in this camp...
hope that my Ex-cos cooperate with me...
and also give me their best...
had a fun meeting with the Ex-cos peoples...
then we also tour around the whole school...
my legs is aching now...
something happened to yw today...
if your really want to know then ask me...
your can also asked him too...
haha...
blushing...

well peoples says that "a pictures could says a thousand words"...
yes i also agree with it...
it could bring out the deepest memories for someone...
thus it could help you remember that you have a great time at the moment...
it also remind you of the fun you had...
but it could also turn bad...
for this pictures might touch on your weak spots...
it will remind you of the experience that you don not want to remember...

thus it could be on the scale of good and bad...
usually, i don't appear at pictures that often...
but i like to take photos...
it is another way to remind stuffs...
i don't know why either...
maybe it is on another perspective that how i looks on things...

i really got a question here...
should i continue to count...?
OR should i just stop...?
OR what should i even do OR say...?
only one has the answer to it...

Fly away

11:12:00 PM

12th Oct...

It's Sun...
it's also the 1st BXB that i don't have to do any revision or study...
well actually it is a good thing, but i don't know why it doesn't brighten up my mood...
what is the root cause of it...?
what is the trigger that affects me...?
i really would like to find the reasons...

as usual a loner like me do lonely stuffs...
my whole head is thinking about the camp...
it will be held at the Nov holiday...
well at the very least...
i can spend my time on the camp till Nov...
thus this helps me to focus on only the camp...
i really don't want to let my concentration float around...

FOCUS totally on it...
wished me luck...
ppls...
hope that i don't be the 1st to break down...

sorry for everything that i have done...
no matter is good or bad...
i don't think it matters anymore...

well for those who still have exams...
wished ur would ace the As your want...
and for those who are getting their results...
don't give up...
if this time, you are unable to perform well...
then try again...
put in your best at the next tests/examinations...
don't give up even you only have the last mins/secs...

well i could only give others this advice...
i couldn't heed it myself...

Fly away

11:05:00 PM

Today is Saturday...
i spend most of the week doing camp stuffs...
camp...
camp...
camp...
I'm working very hard already, so what do you still wants...?

I'm sorry,but I'm not pissed off or angry...
i just don't seems to fulfill the target that i want to achieve...
i really want to know what is hindering me...
that it slowing me down...

Have i been to kind...?
that i listen to others easily...?
Have i been listening to my other self...?
he has been more active as the day goes by...
I'm so scare,that one day he will just appear again...
trying very hard to surpass it...

one misunderstanding after another...

i really am so scare about misunderstandings...

as I really hate it when peoples really misunderstand me for what i haven't done or what is not only my decisions...

I'm truly sorry for all this...

but if you want to blame me on something that i have done,then i have nothing to say...

but i really felt that if i don't clear it,it will turned out worst then ones can imagine...

thus i will take my stand and clear everything...

but is forgiveness really enough...

or is it just what i really need...

i don't wished to stay forever in this mist of misunderstandings...

as it will not be cleared...

but if there is one day...

i will tell you the full story...

sorry for only the half version...

and please let me explains myself...

S O R R Y
... ... ... ... ...

i waited for yw for about 2 hours...

as he went to sign for something...

therefore after he complete his tasks...

we head to the food court to discuss about camp stuffs...

but the food court is flooded with peoples...

thus we went to the library...

some more the children's sections...

never mind about that...

we continue what we set out for...

after completing it...

he head home...

while i waited and went to my grandparents home...

then i spend the long night doing camp stuffs again...

Fly away

11:55:00 PM

today went out at around 11am...
then met up with Anthony...
after meeting him,we head to causeway point...
spend the whole journey discussing the camp stuffs...
soon we reach causeway point...
and thus we head to the food court as we continue to discuss...
after spending hours on it..
we moved on to create some new activity...
so stressful...

then as time goes by...
Nicholas finally arrived...
then Anthony says he want to eat...
then Nicholas give that looked and asked him...
he still haven't eat...
as we have been their, sitting on the chairs for hours long...
thus i have a small chat with him and also we waited for Anthony to finish eating...
after eating, we head toward the MRT station...
then Anthony went to top-up his bus concession...
after that we continue walking...
we were walking like zombies...
therefore peoples surrounding us,give us the stare...
haha...
then i remind both of them...
and the started to walk properly...

as we continue walking...
they met up and thus i followed along...
then at the MRT station,i took the other line...
and later i went home...

spend the rest of the day...
sleeping...

haizzz...

the sunshine just don't shine in my world...
no matter it is sunny or it is raining...
it is always dark...

I just want to ask...

What are friends ?
What are friends for ?
& What are friends to me ?

2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+1 days have gone out of place...
五十九天已走出自己的位子，它是否会再走回去呢。。。？？？。。。
Last day of the day off...
7 weeks...
Really seek for forgiven...

Fly away

11:13:00 PM

9th Oct 2008...
Firstly, i want to wished Lan xin a very Happy Birthday...
times flies as 2008 is ending soon..。
and soon in a blink of eye...
it will be another round of birthdays...
haha...
therefore hope you will enjoy your birthday...
and i will also wished everyone to spend the day fruitful and with joy...
either you spend it with your families,friends or even your loved ones...


Secondly, i spend the day with camp matters...
don't even know why...?
even though exams are over...
but I'm still as busy as ever...
haizzz...
yes,i would rather spend the day working than walking aimlessly alone...
today is the very first meeting after exams...
although it is only after exams...
i know that your want to relax and enjoy...
sorry guys...
just go ahead and enjoy...
i will thus polish up the rest of it...
actually it is already quite productive at today meeting...


Lastly, felt so tired of everything around of me...
feel like giving up...

2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2 days have been unable to communicate...
五十八天已无法可沟通，很想尽快和它联络。。。
2nd day of day off from school...
6 weeks & 6 days...

Fly away

10:46:00 PM

(Including today) For the next 3 days,i had the whole 3 days off...
as 'N' lvls is over...
the examination period is over...
thus it time to take a break and smell the roses...
then i decided to take a walk...
ALONE...(wat a loner im)
becos everything changes as the clock tick away...
the distance seems further than wat it seems...
it is very long and time seems to slow down the motion...
it look lyk it will take a very long time to cover the distance...
the long hrs of time is killing me...
it looks lyk aft exams le,i still quite tense up...
dont noe wats the problems...
still trying to find the reason...
reason for my speech and action...
so afraid tt one day the reason will not appear...
and it will keep me hanging in the air...
then watever dreams and hopes will be put on hold...
i jus hope tt someone could lead me out of it...
dont even noe if this is even possible...
help,help,help...

2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+1 days have been covered...
五十七天已被掩盖着，它是否会在被盖住吗。。。？？？。。。
1st day of day off fr 'N' lvls...
6 weeks & 5 days...

in the mids of her recovering...
i still pray for her speedy recovery...
hope tt she isn't too stressed up...
rest well so tt the smile will reappear again...
then it will shine off the beauty in it...
thus brightening up everything...
so smile on...

haizzz...
cnt help but jus hold the tears...
cnt do anything either...
words & thoughts r being broken...
extra miles were also taken...
but it was to no avail...

...

Fly away

10:47:00 PM

7th Oct...
Had 3 papers today...
POA P1 & P2...
and A.maths P2...kind of
haizzz...
had high expectations for POA...
but i think it is kind of difficult...
omg i dont think it will reflect the aim i set...
well we have to c again...
as for a.maths...
it is kind of expected tt im not foin to do so well for it...
it is jus a matter of time...
tt i dropped this sub...
im so afraid...
well i will jus c wat to do next lor...
well tts all...

2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2 days is high up...
五十六天已高高在上，它是否会再下来吗。。。？？？。。。
‘N' lvls is finally over...
hurray...
yesh...
exams r over...
6 weeks & 4 days...

heard tt she is sick...
wished tt she will recover soon...
jus cnt wait to hear fr her again...
and to c the smile to bright up...

...

Fly away

9:21:00 PM

6th Oct...
went to sch early in the morning...
but rmb tt...
a.maths only start at 2pm...
haha...the funny thing is tt i saw zhang chuan...
he though tt today is POA exams...
haha...
had a great laugh early in the morning...
then ltr i found out tt i came to early le...
thus i also walked out the sch...
then pass the bus-stop...
saw zhang again...
then bid farewell to him...
and head back home...
hrs flies...
then 2pm is here...
a.maths P1...
haizzz...
a.maths is realli not my cup of tea...
i simply cnt get it right...
2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+1 days haven't been realize...
五十五天已没人能察觉到，我应该更加留意它。。。
tmr is the last day of 'N' lvls...
6 weeks & 3 days...

Fly away

5:45:00 PM

This picture truly shows and describe how i feel...
this heart is broken...
and it is unable to be fixed back anymore...
it isn't possible to be mend back...
even though it is able to be fixed...
it won't be the same as before...
the feeling just got cut off...
as she just turned her back and walked away...
just look at how i felt...
watching her walked away and I'm so useless...
i can't even say a single word or even try to stop her...

What is the point now...?
in whatever things i have done or wished to do are all smashed...
just what you want me to do...
was all the things that i have done are all mistakes...?
it is already to late to salvage the problems...
or is it even possible to salvage anyway...
things have change through every seconds...
time flies as they don't wait for anyone...
the wind keeps blowing at me...
did i even noticed that...?
emotions were changing...
can i even feel that it is breaking...?

The moment have gone...
but i just want to cling onto it...
do i even have the chance...?
the pain I'm feeling...
does anyone understand it...
I'm like being pushed away by an unknown force...
and this force just hold me tight...
every time i struggle...
it just get tighter...
and it don't seems to want me to move on...
it just pinned me down...
i really felt very tired of it...

I just can't find ways to let go...
words are stuck...
it just don't seems to come out...
even though i pretend to move on...
but i just can't forget the feeling...
it is rooted down...
i just can't seems to explain everything...
it is just like it want me to remember everything...
it just can't be express out...
it is so difficult to forget everything...
let alone to walk away...

The shadow just keeps hunting me down...
it keeps dragged me back in the past...
the rain don't seems to stopped...
it just continue to fall onto me...
loneliness is trapping me...
all the hope and dream were all hidden as well...
it is being set away...
the space is all fill up only by you...
and it can't be cleared at all...
is they even a path for me to walked...?
i just can't seems to pick the right paths...
the stars just don't seems to shine in my world...
the sun were also blocked by it...
even though it is out there...
but i just don't seems to find it...

There isn't a one to share this pain...
i need some directions...
it just seems so inconsolable and untouchable...
just hope that someone could be there for me...
don't even know it is real or fake...
was it reality or a fairy tales...
i have already given it my all...
a fragile rose is being stomp on...
the fall just seems so great for me to take...
don't seems to find the right words to say...
or even any action that seems right...
it just seems that every time you leave...
it just kept me waiting...
a sad scene have returned back again...

...cry...CRY...cry...
...cry...CRY...cry...
...cry...CRY...cry...
...cry...CRY...cry...
...cry...CRY...cry...
...cry...CRY...cry...
...cry...CRY...cry...
...cry...CRY...cry...
...cry...CRY...cry...
...cry...CRY...cry...

6th Sept 2008...

Fly away

9:07:00 PM

5th Oct...
wasted an hour and a half...
should have spend the time wisely...
well at BXB today...
spend the time doing useless stuffs...
at lunch time...
something interesting happened...
someone is being chased...
by 2 persons...
haha...
the guy being chased is my brother...
he was chased by 2 girls...
he stamp some colours on them...
then they want to draw his face and hands back...
therefore i though the girls where to get markers...
and i also told my brother how to escape...
well I'm in the middle...
i helped both sides...
but in the end...
the girls failed...
as they were unable catch him...
haha...
try again next sun...

tomorrow they will be a.maths P1...
argh...
don't even know how to handle it...
just wished me all the best...
well i chat with her again...
well that is all for today...

2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2 is inconsolable...
五十四天已不能被安抚，它是否会安静下来呢。。。？？？。。。
’N' lvls...
6 weeks & 2 days...

Fly away

8:24:00 PM

4th Oct...
It is Sat...
finally able to break off from the stressful week of exams...
but yet again...
another week of exams is also coming near...
therefore it could be just a break or just a time for you to study...
well it all depend on how you look at it...
thus i look at it as break to study...
haha...
that is how i look at it...
as it is the examination period...
i hope that all are doing well for it...
but the beginning of exams is just only the beginning...
as after that you will get back your results...
then if you do not practice or study enough...
you might not be able to get good marks for your exams...
then the scolding of your parents will scold you...
and if it goes even worst...
you might be grounded or banned...
so study hard and do well for your exams...
ciao...

2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+1 days is untouchable...
五十三已不能摸到，它是否会再次被触摸到呢。。。？？？。。。
‘N' lvls
6 weeks & 1 days...

Fly away

12:47:00 AM

3rd Oct...
woah...
must wake up early in the morning and prepare for 2 papers todays...
Maths Paper 2 and Geography...
well went to school as per normal...
but went to school and found out that julio have not arrived yet...
thus i make a call to him...
luckily he is on his way...
and not still at his home...
time flies and soon he arrived...
then it is almost time to assemble and later we head towards the hall for the exams...
Maths was quite ok...
then there is a time interval of about 4hrs and 30 mins...
then we have the final revision on Geography...
but Geography was like oh my god...
argh...!!!...
it was very difficult...
during the paper...
all sorts of geography questions,notes & theory all comes to my head...
at the end of the paper...
Mr pang was already waiting for us...
then all of us was like pouring all the questions and answers...
Mr pang was kind of cornered...
haha...
was totally drained...
had to sleep...
gtg...
bb...
2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2 days cannot be sense anymore...
五十二天已不能被感觉到，它是否会再次感觉到自己呢。。。？？？。。。
’N' lvls...
6 weeks...

Fly away

12:22:00 AM

2nd Oct...
although i don't have any exams today...
there is a extra lesson on geography...
as tomorrow is 'N' levels geography paper...
we are using whatever time we have left...
to clear all our doubt...
spend 2 hrs ++ at the AV theatre...
but slightly before 9am when i entered the school...
the school councillors "escort" julio & i to the canteen...
they thought that both of us are late...
but actually we don't even have to returned back to school...
haha...
i was laughing as i walked into the school...
i was also thinking from all the way to school...
i was kind of evil...
looking back at it...
sorry...
but had a great day...
it was fun...
learning and revising...
2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+1 days have been long forgotten...
五十一已早被忘记了，很希望它能够记得。。。
‘N' lvls is still on...
5 weeks & 6 days...

Fly away

11:03:00 PM

1st Oct...
today's marks 2 occasions...
wished all children...
A Happy Children's Day...
& to all malays...
A Happy Hari Raya...
well...
dont hav to report to sch today...
as there r no exams for me...
thus i spend my days studying & sitting infront of my com...
tts how i spend my days...
haizzz...
sian arh...
2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2 days have cross over...
五十天已过岸，它是否会回岸呢。。。？？？。。。
'N' lvls is going on...
5 weeks & 5 days...

Fly away

1:06:00 PM

30th Sept...
no exams today...
therefore i no need to go back to sch...
actually there is poa extra lesson...
but it was cancel...
dont noe y either...
haizzz...
thus i spend the whole long day at home...
kind of bored...
jus hope to end the exams soon...
well tt all...
2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+1 days have been changed...
四十九天已被更改，它是否会在改回呢。。。？？？。。。
Ongoing of 'N' lvls...
5 weeks & 4 days...

Fly away

11:11:00 PM

29th Sept...
woah...
the long awaited exams is finally back...
well i jus hope to end the exams soon...
had a long & tiring day...
phy,chem & math P1 r sure tiring...
well im gonna go rest already...

tired...

tired...

tired...

slp...

slp...

slp...

those r the words tt r going through my mind...
im realli drained...
...

...

...
now im finally able to put down the heavy burdens for phy,chem & half of maths...
zzz
2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2 days have been stressed...
四十八天已被压力给压下，它是否会解放自己呢。。。？？？。。。
continue of 'N' lvls...
5 weeks & 3 days...

Fly away

10:15:00 PM

28th Sept...
every sun is the same...
bxb...
exams r near the corner...
therefore the activity is being changed...
had half the day spend on studying...
all the subjects jus come to my mind...
eng,chi,math,poa,geo,ss,phy,chem & a.maths...
lot & lots of concepts jus pop out of no where...
tmr will be the continuation of 'N' lvls...
well eng,chi & ss r over...
so i will spend the time on other subjects...
tmr i will be having phy,chem & maths P1...
well wish me all the best...
& also i will want to wished all the very best for the upcoming EOY exams...
2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+1 days have been box up...
四十七天已被包起来，它是否在等我把它打开。。。？？？。。。
‘N' lvls is tmr...
5 weeks & 2 days...

Fly away